It’s okay to be a feminist!

Many (Ghanaian) women hate to be described as feminist. To many of us, it  is a not very positive word associated with man-hating, bitter, go-getting, divorce-promoting ice-queens whose mission is to unseat the man and get more women to rebel against the male figures in their lives. These stereotypes associated with the feminist are usually blamed on too much education.

I remember when I was a first year student at the University of Ghana, I had a conversation with a young man and he told me something in relation to courting young university-educated women. He said, “It’s is good to catch them young and rein them in before they finish university because when they do, they begin to sing the ‘I know my rights’ tune and they become hard to handle.” Few women like to be “handled” whatever that means. What many of the young women who say they “know their rights” truly want, is to be respected and acknowledged and to not be made into sexually objectified  beings. (And of course it’s okay to “know your rights”!) What they want is to go out in the world and contribute to discourses, make lives for themselves, bring positive change to society without being hindered by patriarchal institutions.

We do not want to be defined in relation to who we are married to, we do not want to be trophy wives, we do not want to unseat the male, we do not want to be judged based on how we look. We want to contribute meaningfully to society and we can only achieve this dream when we work hand in hand with men. Many of us love family and respect the institution of marriage. I love to have doors held open for me. I love men in suits, huge turn on! Above all, I love men who see women for their intelligence and not just for how they look.

All the negativity associated with feminism makes us (Ghanaian) women cringe when that tag is placed on us. We hate the categorization/labeling. It’s okay to not want that. It’s okay to demand to be treated better. It’s okay to be ambitious. It’s okay to dream about a utopia where women are not judged based on their gender. Whatever you do that ultimately brings positive change and improves the lives of the marginalized (men/women) is a step towards reducing oppression. Feminism is not only about fighting against the oppression of women, it is about creating a just society where lives are changed positively. It is okay to be a feminist and it is okay too to not want to be tagged as one so long as you are affecting marginalized lives positively.

Happy International Women's Day!

-WFM