Women have desires too!

No one deserves to experience humiliation in any form. Several people have suffered various types of emotional and psychological trauma in the wake of the leaking of the infamous sex-tapes. We all believe that what is done in the bedroom, (car or wherever), should stay there. Some have called for some of the victims of this type of uncalled for exposure to be sacked from their jobs or banished from their respective communities.

I have observed how various people have reacted to these happenings. Some have condemned the media for tagging a city when just a handful of people in this city were caught up in the brouhaha. Some have blamed the gentleman for his supposed lack of control in keeping his pointer in his pants. Others have blamed the young women for opening their legs to the sweet-talking young man.

I am in no position to judge or blame any of the people who got caught up in the unfortunate incident of the exposure of their private lives this way. No person should have to endure such a violation of their private lives.

Many holier-than-thous blamed the young women because they claimed they were being materialistic and well, they had it coming. Some went as far as to compare these women to white women saying, that since a white woman was one of the victims of such exposure then it must have been the fault of the gentleman since well, white women do not know how to be materialistic and will only sleep with a man when they are truly in love with them. What material things could this young man have offered each and every one of the women that they would make them want to sleep with him? Is it too difficult to accept the fact that if a woman wants to have sex, it’s because she wants to have sex and nothing else? Women have feelings as much as men do and should not be made to feel ashamed for feeling that way.

We live in a society where women are taught to suppress whatever sexual feelings they may have. Menstruation is a taboo topic how much more sex! Women are raised to believe that there is some sort of meter on their vaginas that records each time they have sex and that will remind them that they reduce in self-worth every time they engage in any form of sexual or “lustful” behaviour .

People are worried about whether these women will ever marry since no one wants “damaged goods”. However,  the man is expected to sow his wild oats before he decides to “settle down”. With whom is he going to practice the sowing of his wild oats? If we are preaching abstinence to our young women, why don’t we preach same to our young men?

Why do we continue to fetishize the female body? There were several comments on how voluptuous some of these victims were. Others were condemned for having “fallen breasts”. I have yet to see comments on the bodies of the young men involved. It is because men are almost always let off the hook with the excuse that “boys will be boys” that well, their actions are excused.

If we are going to preach abstinence, celibacy and how sexual intercourse reduces the self-worth of a person, let’s not single out women and apply it to them.  Our young men should also be taught such virtues.